November 6, 2015
I had a hard time letting go of him, but time was against me and my flight was scheduled to leave soon.
He was now taller than me by almost one foot and had to stoop to get near me.
“Love you,” we echoed to each other. I stood on Florida’s International Airport curb as he drove off in the family car, now his, towards his new home, 1,582 miles away from mine.
It was hard to believe Brock was all grown up and starting his post-high school journey.
Wasn’t he just the baby boy sitting on my lap when God whispered “Home School Academy?”
As I boarded the plane, sat down in the awkward middle seat, and fastened my safety-belt as directed, the tears started chasing each other down my face until things were blurry. Not just my vision but my vision. Now that my inspiration was all grown up and gone would I have any passion to continue?
What does a mother do when there isn’t daily mothering? Was I good for anything anymore? Did anyone else have these same thoughts or was the only one? I felt like the loneliest mother ever.
For me, somewhere in the clouds over southeastern part of the United States at 39,000 feet cruising altitude, I wanted to be reassured that I was not alone. The thought then came to me that this is where a “blog” is born. Born out of the need to be understood and to understand and to have a conversation. To share an idea and allow someone to respond. C.S. Lewis said “we read to know we are not alone” and I would agree that we blog for the same reason.
Just to be clear, thoughts of starting a blog were not coming from place of being the expert, no, just the opposite.
The blog was not about having something well written or being a witty word-smith. I have none of that to offer.
I only have a mother’s heart, which is trying desperately to do this thing right.
I had played Sara Groves’ Station Wagon CD a bazillion times and know that it is not about what we are teaching our children but what they are teaching us. I was simply trying to slow down the ride and enjoy the view.
|Brock and I
I know you’re just a baby sleeping in your bed
And you probably have other thoughts drifting through your head I know this conversation’s a little premature
It’s just that I’ve heard eighteen years goes by like a blur
|Brock and I on the beach
just hours before
I had to say “good-bye”
Hand In Hand was born while holding Brock as a baby in my arms, and now its blog, with a place to continue the conversation, was re-born as I was holding Brock in my heart. And so, here we are today at the beginning of something new. I hope you will join me as we discuss ideas swirling around in my head about saying goodbye to a college-age kid (and hello again next summer); creating a peaceful place with siblings; homeschooling to the max; and yes, of course, Christian Montessori and all its unique features. I hope you will join me in this on-going conversation.
My mom, Mrs. Lee, always said that you can give a child two things: roots and wings.
I really hope that Brock spreads his wings, flies well,
and comes home, too.
Free to fly free to go free to come back home…